IDs: On the left, a Christmas tree with an open gift basket at its base. On the top right, a brown envelope framed by greenery. On the bottom right, a photo of a person wrapped in Christmas lights holding three tea candles in the dark.

Christmas time isn't round-the-clock warm fuzzies or a source of fond nostalgia for everybody. For many, it's just another annual reminder of who is no longer here to celebrate with them, and how future holidays will never feel like they used to. For others, the loss is still fresh and the season has lost all of its color and expectation.

If you haven't experienced personal grief yet, comforting someone can feel as daunting as a mountain. You don't even know where to start and you're so scared of saying the wrong thing. You want to give them something special and useful that isn't just another cheesy, carbo-licious Casserole of Hope™️​. Chances are, they've already received too many and are playing Tetris in their fridge. So, let someone who has taken a few rounds on the Grief Train™️​suggest what you can give this holiday season to somebody who just started their own journey.

Self-Care Gift Basket

ID: A wooden box containing grey fabric and some jarred goods.

After my Dad passed away, only one friend gave me a gift basket full of self-care items, and honestly, that meant to much more to me than anything else. It forced me to slow down and take the time to keep taking care of myself. Even just showering can all too easily get forgotten when dealing with a crisis. Taking long, hot baths with calming scents was how I got clean while trying to coax my body to sleep, since that was difficult too. To this day, a self-care basket is my go-to for someone in need.

Some recommended items include:

• A weighted blanket

• bath bombs and shower fizzies

• lavender epsom salts 

• face masks

• nice shampoo and conditioner samples

• multivitamins

• melatonin gummies

• sugar scrub

• nice pajamas

• hydration multipliers (like Liquid I.V.) 

• moisturizer and lotion

• caffeine-free tea

• A journal for documenting experiences and card

• A well-reviewed guide and workbook for grieving, loss, or disappointment

• A jar and paper for listing daily gratitudes

Gift Cards

ID: A stack of paper gift card envelops laid out with some twine and string lights.

A crisis is not the time to worry about things like minor home repairs, getting new clothes, or buying groceries. So, gift cards to places are a practical and versatile way to help, especially since it lets the user decide what they need.

Variety

Places like Target, Walmart, Macy's, JCPenny, Kohls, Bass Pro Shop, and other outlets like these offer a wide variety of goods depending on need. Also, Visa, Amazon, and Apple gift cards are useful for online transactions.

Food

Besides restaurant gift cards, ones for grocery stores and meal delivery apps like DoorDash and GrubHub will come in handy when the meal train runs out.

Practical

Places like Auto Zone, Walgreens, CVS, and Home Goods are helpful for getting medicine, home repair items, and daily necessities.

Pay for Things

ID: Stock photo of person paying at a white digital cash register.

Similar to the previous section, but distinctly different; offering to pay for things directly can be a thoughtful resource for assisting someone's needs and providing opportunities for relaxation.

Needs

Offering to pay for someone's first few appointments for therapy and/or grief counselling can mean a lot for people with unhelpful insurance. If they don't drive, offer to drive them to appointments and errands. If they need home repairs, car maintenance, or chores, offer to take care of it for them.

Fun

Restaurants, movie theaters, spas, arcades, shows, mini golf, or even hotels and AirB&B are a great excuse to take a break from reality for a little bit and spark some healthy chemical flow. Buying tickets or vouchers so somebody can enjoy a normal night will mean the world to them.